Malek Taus is Not Amused

"Ewwwwwww, gross! I'm not scraping that off! ...guess I'll have to wear it to recital tonight."

Oh my sweet golly gosh. Look what 2waggs found: Matching hotpants! Now I can dress as peacock roadkill for Halloween! [countfloyd]"Arooooooooo! That's scary stuff!"[/countfloyd]

What's almost as scary is 2waggs, who actually likes this fugly costume and thinks its cute!!!! There's just no accounting for taste.... Let's all laugh at her :) :) :)

That's okay, 2waggs. I'm sure you'll look like Dina got shot by a chicken-cannon loaded with peacocks lovely. And just think, you can get the dusting done at the same time as you practice your shimmies! And with your height, you can do a forward shoulder shimmy to dust the fireplace mantle! At least it's practical fug!

The Fugly Duckling

WAH-CHOO! "Dorry, biss.. I deem do be addergic do your bra."

This poor artist put hours of work into handcrafting this item, only to see it languish on the auction block for months. This is an unfortunate example of "if a little is good, a lot must be great." Malek Taus would not approve.

Tonight we're gonna party like its 1989

I was drinking when I saw this
Forgive me if it goes a-spray
But when I saw this bedlah's bra
I could've sworn it was paper plates

From the netherworld arrows
To the sequins flying everywhere
Try to run from the fugness
I think I need to get some air

I'll stop there because the only thing worse than a bad costume is bad karaoke.

Nurrrrrrse! My brain hurts!

No no, guys, you got the colours all wrong. It should be red on white, not white on blue.

Actually I'm not sure if this one is supposed to be "naughty nurse" or "naughty nun." Whichever it is, it may be naughty, but it sure ain't nice.

Brittney's new career: Bellydancer?

Don't go 'round tonight, or its bound to take your life. Therrrrre's a bad moon on the rise

2waggs sent me this image of Egypt's very own Brittney Spears, Dina. Thanks for nothing, 2waggs *lol*

This image points up the importance of test-dancing your costume before you perform. That way, you'll know to wear suspenders so you don't shimmy your skirt off.

(nb, yes I know it's more than likely deliberate, it's Dina, after all.)

Gold Mold and Memories of Fugliness Past

This one's called "Gold Mini." Although "gold lichen" is probably more appropriate, or maybe "gold mold." This one isn't particularly nose-cola-worthy, I'll admit, but I chose it for its resemblance to one that I did find hilarious.

Alas, there are some outfits that I viewed in the past but never thought to collect the pictures, because I hadn't yet decided to blog the fugliness for posterity. The "Red Sonja Bra" is one of those. Look at "Gold Mini" here, and imagine a silver bra, slightly flatter in the cups, covered in silver coins. Rather than being slightly dangly like these coins, imagine them set flat in concentric circles raying out from the nipples. If you're cringing, then you've successfully imagined the ridiculous garment I dubbed the "Red Sonja Bra." What mortifies me is that it sold, believe it or not. I don't; I'd rather convince myself that the vendor was too embarrassed by it and finally took it off the market.

Another lost item is a costume that I found on a Turkish website. I've looked all over for it but cannot find it again, so I'll just have to describe it. The fabric was white and covered in these little 3/4-circle patches, in various colours. It looked for all the world like the wearer was being eaten alive by Pac-Mans. Pac-Men. Whatever. Clearly that was the costume for that "80s Night" performance, for the "Pac-Man Fever" number.

Cringe for Fringe

I imagine some poor craftsman with a tight deadline. They've just realized that they've created a bra that looks like two ashtrays squashed to the wearer's chest. They're down to the wire and can't correct it properly, so they try to camoflage it with fringe, lots of fringe. Fringe inspired by 60s go-go dancers' nipple tassels, apparently. cringe

Its a bird! Its a plane! Its Superfringe!

There're a lot of sites showcasing the seedy horrors of bellydance costuming with snarky commentary, so what's one more? Welcome to 1001 Nightmares, for all your bellydance Schadenfreude needs.

Let's kick things off with.. Superfringe! I don't even want to think about what that stuff must look like shimmying. How many audience members would wind up in the emergency room? Whiplash much?

"Hmm, I'm not getting my usual zaghareets for my belly flutters... I wonder if the audience can see them?"